Greyhawk 636 CY: The Rise of Asmodeus
Quotes from the Campaign Denizens and Others
A list of things said within and without the world of Oerth that tickled the fancy of many an individual. Some are said by the characters and some by those who portray them at the table.
ALWAYS A GOOD SON
“I couldn’t find a single frost giant, and I suspect global warming.” – DM joking about the dwarves of the Ratiks coming to aid the party in the battle against the frost giants
A PALADIN IN HELL
“This lacks all dignity.” – Ashell Terrain, the demon
“You usually do.” – Idrys
“You do have excellent dentition.” – Nasim Rahal
“There’s precious little to do when attached to an elf but floss.” – Ashell Terrain
THE UNDYING FIRE
“Picture Golum with a Hitler mustache.” – DM describing Wastri, the hopping prophet and god of racism
UM… WHY ARE THE WALLS BLEEDING?
“We’ll put them in rehab for a while” – Zagyg’s lich accountant discussing the tortured ghostly souls of Zagyg’s human family
THE ANCIENT MINE
“We’re solving a long standing shame of the dwarven people”
“Well, couldn’t they just write us a song?” – Discussing compensation for fighting the dwarf lich, Drenik
“You should get him a whale. Bitches love whales.” – Quetz in response to Wilhelmina trying to decide what gift to get for Jack.
“I’m evil me!” – The Codex of Infinite Planes taking Zagyg’s shape and putting on a faux goatee
LOST TEMPLE OF PELOR
“Do you need a push?” – Rhain Burningstars
“We’re very good at falling.” – Faern Mountainheart about leaping from a flying ship after having a conversation about why a dwarf would dislike flying a ship to the moon to find a temple under the ocean
“I’m going to ram my face into all your crotches!” – Tulla, who’s face is blessed by the Emperor of the Isle of Pearls, a blessed descendant of Pelor, while fighting drow on the moon
OH NO! YOU DID NOT JUST TELL ME TO HENCH!
“I usually assume that everything is poisoned.” – Ardes after having narrowly prevented Akihiro from being poisoned
“That explains a lot about you.” – Jevan
IVID THE UNDYING
“Sir Christopher is leaving the badger.” – Davidnic referring to Sir Christopher getting out of Taren’s mechanical badger vehicle.
“That could have gone better.” – Tulla after the fight with Ivid and Balzephon
“I think you mean that could have gone badger!” – Wilhelmina making a joke about Taren’s badger machine and throwing a badger at Bartholomew’s face
I MET A MAN… WHO WASN’T THERE
THE EYES OF THE MANY
“Unpaid gypsies!” – Tulla’s continued insistence that the Vistani get paid for helping the group
AND WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?
“Is it me or is he getting skankier as this goes on?” – Idrys talking about an ash giant creation of Vecna’s
THE NIGHTMARE LORD’S REVENGE
“Hey, Candy, come to my white van and I’ll give you some children.” – Quetz after the group learns that Young Jack leaks necromantic energy that will attract undead.
“Check please!” – Jevan when they notice that everything in the tavern is really weird and that people’s reflections don’t look right.
YOUNG JACK’S ADVENTURE
“It looks like someone dunked an albino in a cotton candy machine.” – Villius on seeing Ardes with his hair turned lavender by Tulla.
THE STRANGE SOUL OF BARTHOLOMEW SERRIK
“I just reconcile myself to the is.” – Head of the Greyhawk City Doctor’s guild when speaking about Zagyg.
“Its ass does subdual damage.” – About Loreli’s summoned rhino sitting on the possessed Dr. Cartwright.
THE CITY OF SHATTERED GLASS
“Was Vecna 12 when he did this?” – Quetz referring to graffiti left in front of the City of Shattered Glass by Vecna thousands of years ago
THE LAND OF ICE AND SNOW
“I’ve got your mom right here. She’s my tramp stamp” – Quetz making a “your mom” joke and referring to Loreli’s curse.
“I don’t think this qualifies as winning” – Tulla after realizing that most of their party had been sucked into a gate by the Codex of Infinite Planes
“So it’s like that, is it?” – Idrys finding himself sitting in a bar full of demons on the Plane of Concordant Opposition
“He’s a nutball on a nutcake.” – Simon Rhola referring to Zygyg
“First rule about the God Pact inside castle greyhawk… Don’t talk about the god pact.” – Zygyg
“I am made of butter.” – Quetz
THE GHOST TOWER OF INVERNESS
“I think my brain is purple.” – Villius upon entering the Plane of Rainbows
THE CASTLE RISES
“I think… Barthala-two did it… Yeaaaaah! I’m writin’ that down” — Marsys Lightouch referring to the alternate reality Barthalomew
Journal Of Marsys Lightouch 17th of Readying 636 CY
Everyone was stunned and we figured out where they went and how we had three days until they would be on this plane again so we could stop them turning Jack into Asmodeus’ new formal wear. – Marsys Lightouch